GOP: That’s it. Burn down the pizza places so the neighbors can’t have pizza either.
In a nut shell.
Democrats are like the hard working parents who tell their kids they will take them to Disney, but every year something comes up and they can’t go
Republicans are like a shitty uncle who says there isn’t enough money to go to Disney, but a week later you see him posting pictures on Instagram from magic mountain.
Wait why the hell do the Dems have to want olives in this scenario. The GOP are the weird ones.
Then they’ll try to impeach Papa John and try to pass a “pizza protection bill” that makes it illegal to put olives on pizza.
The farfetched part is imagining the GOP wants anyone to have pizza to begin with.
Why did you have to pick olives, now I have to agree with the GOP. I have principles
Democrats will feed 100 children if they think one child needs it.
Republicans will starve 100 children if they think one child doesn’t deserve it.
Men still have access to healthcare in the US right?
Dems: Let’s order pizza
GOP: pedophiles!
Dems: “Treating others like human beings is good.” Repubs: “How FUCKING DARE YOU!”
Dems : You paid in, and here’s pizza for folks who haven’t eaten , are in school or too old for work. Low cost pizza for everyone else.
Reps : You paid in, This fancy pizza is mine, those other fancy pizzas are for my friends you can’t have any…Get your own pizza
Yes, but please use almost any other topping for the analogy!, olives on half would still infest the whole pie with olive flavor
Voters: “Why didn’t the democrats stop the Republicans from canceling the pizza order?”
GOP is the kinda guy that orders pineapple and sardines and tells his wife to settle for it
DEM is the kinda person that orders a supreme then picks off the onions and gives them to their partner and tries to divvy up the slices equally, but at the same time owns a piece of the pizza chain that everyone is ordering pizzas from.
More like:
Democrats: Everybody want pizza? Pepperoni good?
The US: 60-70% want this, yes.
Democrats: Ok we’re ordering pizza
Republicans: We want anchovies and white sauce.
Democrats: Nobody wants that. You can have that for yourself if you want but we won’t make everyone eat it.
Republicans: We cut the phone lines so you can’t order any pizza!
Also Republicans: Why can’t we have pizza?
And lack of pizza is all the dems fault and only the dems fault
Phh. This is the political situation in the 2000s.
Today it’s:
GOP: “Let’s get pizza.” DNC: “Sure” GOP: “We want pepperoni.” DNC: “Sounds good. We want olives.” GOP: “Olives turn you gay.” DNC: “We can get half olives and-” GOP: “NO PIZZA! You’re destroying America!” DNC: “If we compromise we can both get-” GOP: “COMPROMISE IS WEAKNESS!! YOU RAPE CHILDREN!! WE USE OUR MEDIA TO ENCOURAGE STOCHASTIC TERRORISM AGAINST YOU!!” DNC: “We just want pizza. Calm down.” GOP: “WE’RE IMPLEMENTING FASCISM!!! YOU WANT JEWS AND BLACKS TO HAVE PIZZA!! FOR FREE!!!” DNC: “But we can reasonably govern…” GOP: “NO!!! NO!!! WORLD WAR III!! WORLD WAR III!!! STOP USING THE WOKE MIND VIRUS ON ME!!! YOU EAT BABIES!! MURDER BABIES RIGHT AFTER THEY’RE BORN!! JEWISH SPACE LASERS!! TAN SUITS!! IMMIGRANTS!!! BOWLING GREEN KENTUCKY!!! FOUR SEASONS LANDSCAPING!!! WHITE WATER!! COMET PING PONG PIZZA PLACE!! VINCE FOSTER!!!”
Kennedy/Shanahan: Let’s both order pizzas we like and then take the opportunity during our pizza party to come to a middle ground on issues that matter to American people, not corporations
19 comments
Dems: Don’t forget to tip the delivery driver.
GOP: That’s it. Burn down the pizza places so the neighbors can’t have pizza either.
In a nut shell.
Democrats are like the hard working parents who tell their kids they will take them to Disney, but every year something comes up and they can’t go
Republicans are like a shitty uncle who says there isn’t enough money to go to Disney, but a week later you see him posting pictures on Instagram from magic mountain.
Wait why the hell do the Dems have to want olives in this scenario. The GOP are the weird ones.
Then they’ll try to impeach Papa John and try to pass a “pizza protection bill” that makes it illegal to put olives on pizza.
The farfetched part is imagining the GOP wants anyone to have pizza to begin with.
Why did you have to pick olives, now I have to agree with the GOP. I have principles
Democrats will feed 100 children if they think one child needs it.
Republicans will starve 100 children if they think one child doesn’t deserve it.
Men still have access to healthcare in the US right?
Dems: Let’s order pizza
GOP: pedophiles!
Dems: “Treating others like human beings is good.”
Repubs: “How FUCKING DARE YOU!”
Dems : You paid in, and here’s pizza for folks who haven’t eaten , are in school or too old for work. Low cost pizza for everyone else.
Reps : You paid in, This fancy pizza is mine, those other fancy pizzas are for my friends you can’t have any…Get your own pizza
Yes, but please use almost any other topping for the analogy!, olives on half would still infest the whole pie with olive flavor
Voters: “Why didn’t the democrats stop the Republicans from canceling the pizza order?”
GOP is the kinda guy that orders pineapple and sardines and tells his wife to settle for it
DEM is the kinda person that orders a supreme then picks off the onions and gives them to their partner and tries to divvy up the slices equally, but at the same time owns a piece of the pizza chain that everyone is ordering pizzas from.
More like:
Democrats: Everybody want pizza? Pepperoni good?
The US: 60-70% want this, yes.
Democrats: Ok we’re ordering pizza
Republicans: We want anchovies and white sauce.
Democrats: Nobody wants that. You can have that for yourself if you want but we won’t make everyone eat it.
Republicans: We cut the phone lines so you can’t order any pizza!
Also Republicans: Why can’t we have pizza?
And lack of pizza is all the dems fault and only the dems fault
Phh. This is the political situation in the 2000s.
Today it’s:
GOP: “Let’s get pizza.”
DNC: “Sure”
GOP: “We want pepperoni.”
DNC: “Sounds good. We want olives.”
GOP: “Olives turn you gay.”
DNC: “We can get half olives and-”
GOP: “NO PIZZA! You’re destroying America!”
DNC: “If we compromise we can both get-”
GOP: “COMPROMISE IS WEAKNESS!! YOU RAPE CHILDREN!! WE USE OUR MEDIA TO ENCOURAGE STOCHASTIC TERRORISM AGAINST YOU!!”
DNC: “We just want pizza. Calm down.”
GOP: “WE’RE IMPLEMENTING FASCISM!!! YOU WANT JEWS AND BLACKS TO HAVE PIZZA!! FOR FREE!!!”
DNC: “But we can reasonably govern…”
GOP: “NO!!! NO!!! WORLD WAR III!! WORLD WAR III!!! STOP USING THE WOKE MIND VIRUS ON ME!!! YOU EAT BABIES!! MURDER BABIES RIGHT AFTER THEY’RE BORN!! JEWISH SPACE LASERS!! TAN SUITS!! IMMIGRANTS!!! BOWLING GREEN KENTUCKY!!! FOUR SEASONS LANDSCAPING!!! WHITE WATER!! COMET PING PONG PIZZA PLACE!! VINCE FOSTER!!!”
Kennedy/Shanahan: Let’s both order pizzas we like and then take the opportunity during our pizza party to come to a middle ground on issues that matter to American people, not corporations