They are missing the “And I turned out fine” at the end.
My Dad threw a tennis racquet at me once. Another time a house brick. When young he had an old belt to hit me with.
As an adult I punched him hard enough that he fell over when he threatened violence.
My Mom committed suicide over an affair he was having when I was a teenager.
Yet…we are good now. I had a wonderful childhood on the whole. Spoilt, really. He bought me anything I wanted. We’ve had our rough patches but now we get along great.
Corporal punishment should never be encouraged nor condoned. I helped raise two great young people without violence or the threat thereof.
My dad went through similar, with mu granddad even serving time for assault several times (against other adults, not my dad and his brothers). My dad is clearly still scarred from this and it made him very overprotective of me, except this manifested as shouting at me and not letting me be independent. At least he was happy to admit that he would never lay a finger on me because he knew what that might do to me. He could never have lived with himself if he became his dad like that.
We were sitting at the dinner table, and my brother flipped me off with the middle finger.
My pops, in a fit of rage decided it would be a good idea to bop my bro over the head with a ketchup bottle.
BOP it goes, and then SPLOOSH, as the bottle exploded ketchup all over everyone. Ah fun times, fun traumatic times.
Yeah we got the wooden spoon, belt, smacked, etc. Etc.
Not great really. I don’t think it helped.
Until you have children and you have to live with it all the time, you can’t imagine how tiring and stressful and infuriating it can be sometimes, even when you adore every hair on their head and they’re the most important thing in your whole world.
What you don’t fucking do, when you feel tired and stressed and infuriated like that, is hit them. You’re the adult. Control your emotions and if you can’t, leave the room until you can.
A.smacked bum for being a little shit should be a deterant, not the norm. If it’s more than once every blue moon, then it’s probably wrong. I was a little shit until I got a smack from my mum. I tell you what, after that I never wanted to be smacked again! I’m glad she didn’t hesitate, but it being so unlike her and out of character made the biggest impact. I can’t even remember if it hurt, but I definitely remember the shock that I got a smack., I definitely didn’t do that again!
Kudos to Victoria for talking about this. I hold a lot of shame for how my father treated me. Couldn’t tell anyone. I’ve told my husband but precious few other people. It felt like there was something for _me_ to be ashamed of, for being a victim. God knows my father had little to no shame.
Like Victoria, my dad put his hands round my neck. I remember the date, what I was wearing etc. and how distraught, crushed and utterly heartbroken I was over it. I remember silently sobbing after the fact, wondering what I’d done to deserve to be treated this way. The terms soul crushing doesn’t even cover it. I was 14.
I think a lot of people shrug it off because they don’t want to confront reality, or they perpetuate the cycle. So I’m really appreciate of Victoria speaking out about her experiences. It’s incredibly difficult. To put your victimisation and abuse out in the open like this.
My dad had a strict father and a loving mother. He’s not told us much, but he made one comment on how when he was a child his father shoved his face in a bowl of porridge because my dad wouldn’t eat it. He’s 74 now and although my grandfather passed in 2003 I think it still hurts him thinking about his father. He asked my auntie not long ago after finishing a project he was really proud of; “why was dad the way he was?”. He gets very tearful when he says to us (his daughters) that he hopes he’s a good dad, and of course he bloody is, the best dad anyone could have asked for.
personally i preferred (mild) corporal punishment to the other options like being grounded or sent to my room. It was quicker and didn’t really hurt for more than a second. The worst punishments ever are groundings for a week or similar. I got that for a particularly violent brawl with a sibling when I was about 10 😂 It was incredibly shocking to be basically under house arrest. I’d much rather have had a quick smack
My grandfather used to beat my dad severely. My dad swore never to hit his children. One time he lost his temper and hit my brother, but was so repentant that he never laid a finger on any of us ever again. We were raised with so much love and affirmation. He died in his 80s.
Victoria Derbyshire is hot, literally. However that site gave me cancer and I died so I’ll hear your guffaws in hell.
I have never seen a good study on corporal punishment, anyone have one?
If I pissed my dad off as a child he would go get the plastic ladle and chase you around the coffee table tucking your arse as far in as possible until, whack! One day it got jammed in the kitchen draw, 60 seconds of giggling to myself later he was that furious he ripped the draw clean out and acquired the spoon of doom! That motherfuck hurt! Kids these days dont know how kind they have it.
14 comments
They are missing the “And I turned out fine” at the end.
My Dad threw a tennis racquet at me once. Another time a house brick. When young he had an old belt to hit me with.
As an adult I punched him hard enough that he fell over when he threatened violence.
My Mom committed suicide over an affair he was having when I was a teenager.
Yet…we are good now. I had a wonderful childhood on the whole. Spoilt, really. He bought me anything I wanted. We’ve had our rough patches but now we get along great.
Corporal punishment should never be encouraged nor condoned. I helped raise two great young people without violence or the threat thereof.
My dad went through similar, with mu granddad even serving time for assault several times (against other adults, not my dad and his brothers). My dad is clearly still scarred from this and it made him very overprotective of me, except this manifested as shouting at me and not letting me be independent. At least he was happy to admit that he would never lay a finger on me because he knew what that might do to me. He could never have lived with himself if he became his dad like that.
We were sitting at the dinner table, and my brother flipped me off with the middle finger.
My pops, in a fit of rage decided it would be a good idea to bop my bro over the head with a ketchup bottle.
BOP it goes, and then SPLOOSH, as the bottle exploded ketchup all over everyone. Ah fun times, fun traumatic times.
Yeah we got the wooden spoon, belt, smacked, etc. Etc.
Not great really. I don’t think it helped.
Until you have children and you have to live with it all the time, you can’t imagine how tiring and stressful and infuriating it can be sometimes, even when you adore every hair on their head and they’re the most important thing in your whole world.
What you don’t fucking do, when you feel tired and stressed and infuriated like that, is hit them. You’re the adult. Control your emotions and if you can’t, leave the room until you can.
A.smacked bum for being a little shit should be a deterant, not the norm. If it’s more than once every blue moon, then it’s probably wrong. I was a little shit until I got a smack from my mum. I tell you what, after that I never wanted to be smacked again! I’m glad she didn’t hesitate, but it being so unlike her and out of character made the biggest impact. I can’t even remember if it hurt, but I definitely remember the shock that I got a smack., I definitely didn’t do that again!
Kudos to Victoria for talking about this. I hold a lot of shame for how my father treated me. Couldn’t tell anyone. I’ve told my husband but precious few other people. It felt like there was something for _me_ to be ashamed of, for being a victim. God knows my father had little to no shame.
Like Victoria, my dad put his hands round my neck. I remember the date, what I was wearing etc. and how distraught, crushed and utterly heartbroken I was over it. I remember silently sobbing after the fact, wondering what I’d done to deserve to be treated this way. The terms soul crushing doesn’t even cover it. I was 14.
I think a lot of people shrug it off because they don’t want to confront reality, or they perpetuate the cycle. So I’m really appreciate of Victoria speaking out about her experiences. It’s incredibly difficult. To put your victimisation and abuse out in the open like this.
My dad had a strict father and a loving mother. He’s not told us much, but he made one comment on how when he was a child his father shoved his face in a bowl of porridge because my dad wouldn’t eat it. He’s 74 now and although my grandfather passed in 2003 I think it still hurts him thinking about his father. He asked my auntie not long ago after finishing a project he was really proud of; “why was dad the way he was?”. He gets very tearful when he says to us (his daughters) that he hopes he’s a good dad, and of course he bloody is, the best dad anyone could have asked for.
personally i preferred (mild) corporal punishment to the other options like being grounded or sent to my room. It was quicker and didn’t really hurt for more than a second. The worst punishments ever are groundings for a week or similar. I got that for a particularly violent brawl with a sibling when I was about 10 😂 It was incredibly shocking to be basically under house arrest. I’d much rather have had a quick smack
My grandfather used to beat my dad severely. My dad swore never to hit his children. One time he lost his temper and hit my brother, but was so repentant that he never laid a finger on any of us ever again. We were raised with so much love and affirmation. He died in his 80s.
Victoria Derbyshire is hot, literally. However that site gave me cancer and I died so I’ll hear your guffaws in hell.
I have never seen a good study on corporal punishment, anyone have one?
If I pissed my dad off as a child he would go get the plastic ladle and chase you around the coffee table tucking your arse as far in as possible until, whack! One day it got jammed in the kitchen draw, 60 seconds of giggling to myself later he was that furious he ripped the draw clean out and acquired the spoon of doom! That motherfuck hurt! Kids these days dont know how kind they have it.