Since I started growing my own Tomatoes all supermarket ones taste like mushy foot water, I just need to figure out how to grow them to maintain a consistent supply year round now
The emperors new tomatoes
Seen as you are already in Lidl, try the baby plum tomatoes they are always nice đ
Praise be to the British Emperor Jeremy Vine, the undying light of humanity, the Master of Mankind, who sits upon the Golden Throne in eternal vigilance! His wisdom is boundless, his strength immeasurable, his will unyielding. For ten thousand years, He has guided us through the abyss, holding the galaxy in the palm of His divine hand, and courting the opinions of morons with inane radio chat. All we are, we owe to Himâour protector, our judge, our salvation. His name is a weapon, a shield against the unholy, and in His shadow, we stand as His chosen, righteous in our eternal war against the foul xenos and heretic alike.
But even as we offer our undying loyalty to the God-Emperor, a dark shadow lingers on the edge of memory, a bitter truth that gnaws at the soul of mankind. His brother, Timothy; the False Emperor, once beloved, now reviled, dares to claim dominion over the stars. This traitorâthis blasphemerâonce stood at His side, wielding a power that rivaled our Lordâs own. The great heresy that shattered the Deluxe Tomato Imperium was born of his treachery, a wound that festers still. He, too, was mighty, molded in the same crucible, yet twisted by hubris and foul ambition.
The False Emperorâs whispered puns continue to seduce the weak-willed, his dark legions marching under banners of false freedom and blasphemous one-liners. Though cast down, he stirs in the void, biding his time, his influence felt in every rebellion, every re-told joke in a pub, every defiance of the Emperorâs divine will. His power is not to be underestimated, for he, too, was once among the highest, an echo of our Lordâs magnificence, now corrupted beyond redemption.
We must stand ever vigilant, for though the God-Emperor protects, the False Emperor plots, his ambition unchecked. Only through unwavering faith, through fire and steel, can we hope to purge his stain from the stars. The Emperorâs light is eternal, but the shadow of his brother is long, and in the darkness, the battle rages on. Let none falter, let none forgetâfor the price of failure is oblivion.
But in victory – deluxe tomatoey redemption! Maybe in a salad.
Haha, those regal tomatoes!
I have to buy the fancy tomatoes whenever possible, the standard ones barely taste of anything. There is almost no limit to what I will spend on a good tomato, you have to search far and wide to find a nice one, even the âspecialâ ones in supermarkets are usually meh
It comes to something when you have to pay extra to get tomatoes that taste of something
Sainsburyâs – His Majesty, by the Grace of God King of Britain and Emperor of India
Lidl – His Kingness, luckily Duke of Hazard and Emperor of Britain
11 comments
The emperor protectsÂ
The Emperor protects đđ»
Since I started growing my own Tomatoes all supermarket ones taste like mushy foot water, I just need to figure out how to grow them to maintain a consistent supply year round now
The emperors new tomatoes
Seen as you are already in Lidl, try the baby plum tomatoes they are always nice đ
Praise be to the British Emperor Jeremy Vine, the undying light of humanity, the Master of Mankind, who sits upon the Golden Throne in eternal vigilance! His wisdom is boundless, his strength immeasurable, his will unyielding. For ten thousand years, He has guided us through the abyss, holding the galaxy in the palm of His divine hand, and courting the opinions of morons with inane radio chat. All we are, we owe to Himâour protector, our judge, our salvation. His name is a weapon, a shield against the unholy, and in His shadow, we stand as His chosen, righteous in our eternal war against the foul xenos and heretic alike.
But even as we offer our undying loyalty to the God-Emperor, a dark shadow lingers on the edge of memory, a bitter truth that gnaws at the soul of mankind. His brother, Timothy; the False Emperor, once beloved, now reviled, dares to claim dominion over the stars. This traitorâthis blasphemerâonce stood at His side, wielding a power that rivaled our Lordâs own. The great heresy that shattered the Deluxe Tomato Imperium was born of his treachery, a wound that festers still. He, too, was mighty, molded in the same crucible, yet twisted by hubris and foul ambition.
The False Emperorâs whispered puns continue to seduce the weak-willed, his dark legions marching under banners of false freedom and blasphemous one-liners. Though cast down, he stirs in the void, biding his time, his influence felt in every rebellion, every re-told joke in a pub, every defiance of the Emperorâs divine will. His power is not to be underestimated, for he, too, was once among the highest, an echo of our Lordâs magnificence, now corrupted beyond redemption.
We must stand ever vigilant, for though the God-Emperor protects, the False Emperor plots, his ambition unchecked. Only through unwavering faith, through fire and steel, can we hope to purge his stain from the stars. The Emperorâs light is eternal, but the shadow of his brother is long, and in the darkness, the battle rages on. Let none falter, let none forgetâfor the price of failure is oblivion.
But in victory – deluxe tomatoey redemption! Maybe in a salad.
Haha, those regal tomatoes!
I have to buy the fancy tomatoes whenever possible, the standard ones barely taste of anything. There is almost no limit to what I will spend on a good tomato, you have to search far and wide to find a nice one, even the âspecialâ ones in supermarkets are usually meh
It comes to something when you have to pay extra to get tomatoes that taste of something
Sainsburyâs – His Majesty, by the Grace of God King of Britain and Emperor of India
Lidl – His Kingness, luckily Duke of Hazard and Emperor of Britain
Top tip. Dont keep tomatoes in the fridge.